Lesson Five:
5-5's and 2-2's behind every barThe inside secret to the standards found behind every bar.
What they are … why they are there … and how to use them.
Straight to the wannabe section…
Spent some time behind a bar or two?
Answer my bitter quiz questions correctly and show you know your stuff!
What are the five white liquors in a Long Island Iced Tea?
The five white liquors in a Long Island Iced Tea are vodka, gin, rum, tequila, and triple sec. These five standards (which should be behind every bar) are combined with sour mix then shaken, and topped with a float of coke.
What is the difference between a cape cod and a madras?
Orange juice. A cape cod is vodka and cranberry juice and a madras is vodka with orange juice and cranberry.
What is the most common drink garnish used?
The lime is the most common drink garnish. It is most often cut in the wedge shape and is used for virtually all ‘and’ drinks using soda and many that combine juice and booze as well.
List all acceptable substitutes for a cocktail strainer.
There are no acceptable substitutions. Just like the ice scoop, the strainer is essential for correct straight up cocktail presentation. Using another glass, a mixing glass, a shaker tin or your hand (gross) is completely unacceptable.
Does a martini always get an olive?
No, occassionally a lemon twist may be substituted but the availability of an olive is essential for martini production. If you take away the garnish there is nothing that makes a dry martini anything other than a big cup of booze; asking for an extra dry martini with an olive is so much more discreet!
Got them all right? Congratulations! I will work on greater challenges for the future but your beginner bartender training is on point!
Many a drink taker wants to be a drink maker so they’ll ask me ‘hey bitter…what school can I go to so I can bartend like you?’ or ‘do you have a book back there that taught you how to make all the drinks?’ Fascinated by the power and proximity to the booze they want to switch from imbiber to provider…if only because they think they can drink for free.
Well first of all just because a person drinks milk doesn’t mean they can run a dairy so don’t be looking to man the milking machine.
Second, bartending is not only about the drinks. It is also about the drinkers and the drunks so if you are only interested in creating cocktails stay on the front side on the bar and practice that shit at home.
Third, what makes a protender a badass is the appearance of ease and control. Learning what goes in a margarita is part of it, but if you want to ‘train’ to bartend you would be better off to run back and forth in a ten foot circle, moving as fast as you can while people yell, scream and wave money at you. Staying cool and composed while you are under pressure gives you a better idea of what you are in for than sitting in a bartending school making pretend cocktails with colored water.
You will have to know what goes in a screwdriver but if you think that’s all there is to it; I am here to see to it that you know better. There is no school where you can be taught the experience of bartending and knowing a list of drinks won’t do it either. So darling, if you like, you can continue to quiz me and I will take the time to school you because when it comes right down to it … that bartending book you are looking for? I’m it.
Behind every bar, whether fancy or plain, a few key elements are always the same.
Standard sodas and juice with a garnish tray of the same fruit…
Rose’s Lime, Grenadine, and two types of vermouth.
How can I know that these things will be there?
Behind every bar…no matter where?
Because without these essentials …
you may serve some drinks …
but you are not a bar … no matter what you think.
Now that we have the lay of the land out front, let’s get behind the bar – that’s every bar –
and check things out.
5 liquors
The first five standards that you will find behind the bar will be in the speed rail (also called speed rack.) The speed rail holds a collection of well liquor called for by the generic name instead of a distinct call brand. These house choices are used the most and represent generous profit margins so they are kept at the ready. Of course each bar selects the types and brands of liquor found in the speed well but typical protocol calls for each of the five white liquors: vodka, gin, rum, tequila, and triple sec. These choices provide for a variety of drink selections and are expected to be available. In addition to being asked for in simple ‘and’ combinations like vodka and tonic or rum and coke, these five white liquors are necessary for such cocktails standards as martinis, daiquiris and margaritas with the Long Island Ice Tea being a combo of all five!
Remember the barlingo and reach for these speed well options when a specific call brand is not requested.
5 sodas
H Another standard behind any bar is the soda ‘gun’. This tool allows for any number of sodas (and sometimes mixers or juices) to be dispensed from a single handle. Pushing a button connects the concentrate to the soda plate which is kept cold beneath the cubes in the ice well. Having access to all of the soda that is available without having to grab and open bottles or pop cans improves speed in measurable ways. This method also is the most cost effective. Management makes the decisions when it comes to exactly what can be found on the soda gun but there are five standards that should be present: Coke, 7 up, ginger ale, soda and tonic.
I have never been asked for a Jack and ‘Pepsi’ – it’s always been Jack and Coke. I have made thousands of Captain and Cokes and am convinced it is the most popular drink in my neck of the woods. You need diet coke to make a Skinny Pirate (Hi Max!) but no true boozer would ever stop drinking if they ran out of diet so although it is almost always available, I don’t include it as necessary but rather included with the coke option.
Seagram’s offers a collection of blended whiskey which illustrates other common drinks such as 7&7, CC and ginger, and VO and soda. Tanqueray is a popular gin so when you get asked for a ‘TNT’ you will know that they want a gin and tonic with that specific call brand . Soda makes any wine into a wine spritzer (a wine cooler is made with 7 up so remember ‘spritzer soda cooler 7’) and any old school bartender knows that you need ginger ale to make a true highball!
Memorize the layout of the speed gun as soon as possible. Knowing which button to push without looking adds speed but be cautious; having to throw out costly alcohol because of a soda mistake is a straight up rookie move.
5 juices
The next set of standards can be found in the juice aisle. These five usual subjects combine to offer our boozers additional options for their ‘and’ drinks. The five juices found behind every bar should include orange, cranberry, pineapple, grapefruit, and sour mix. I am aware that most mixologist and creative cocktailers prefer simple syrup and fresh lemon juice (arguing that traditional sour mix makes for a drink that is too sweet and ‘unbalanced’ ) but my practical experience illustrates a different reality. Sour mix has been available in every bar I have ever worked but fresh squeezed lemon juice – none.
These juices combine with (everybody’s friend) vodka to form a family of drinks which are expected to be available. All beginner bartenders should start with knowing that a screwdriver is vodka and orange juice and move through to the cape cod, madras, sea breeze, greyhound, and so on. These vodka based ‘and’ drinks are bartending 101.
Juices should be kept in plastic bottles with colored pour tops for speed and efficiency. Freshness is paramount and systems should be in place to insure that a few cents of juice never ruins a costly shot of alcohol. Remove juice from metal containers as it will change its taste and alter the flavor of your cocktails. Refrigerate your juices and keep them iced if they are out long term. If your sales pace doesn’t demand large cans, switch to the individual serving size to insure that they are fresh.
Finally, ALWAYS shake your juices to insure that they have not separated. You never want an expensive French martini ruined by a dash of diluted pineapple juice!
5 fruits
Our next set of standards can be found in the garnish tray. This metal shaped box with it’s flip top holds plastic cups full of fruits to finish off our fantastic cocktails. Of course any array of garnishes can be used from mint to jalapenos but there are five selections that can be expected. Limes, lemons, oranges, cherries (maraschino of course), and olives are the five standards that all bars will have available.
Limes are no friend of mine and that’s because I have cut so many that if I never see another one again it will be too soon. The use of limes in everyday boozing outpaces other fruit at a ten to one clip. Both wedges and wheels (also at a ten to one ratio) should be available. Most ‘and’ drinks call for them and no margarita is complete without one. All limes should have a ‘rim slice’ which allows them to rest on the glass during transport.
Lemons should be available in wedge, slice, twist and peel. Having these options available will enable you to garnish everything from iced teas to martinis. When using the peel, twist to bring the flavor to life and then rub the back side (outside skin not the flesh side) to spread the oils around the rim. My lemon drop martinis are extra delicious because I dip my lemon wedge in the sugar well before I add it to the rim which is dusted with sugar as well…yummy.
Oranges should be sliced and combined with cherries form what I refer to as the ‘orange flag’. This combo is included in all rum drinks and is a necessary part of the Shirley Temple (or Roy Rogers).
While we are at the cherries let me just warn you that the juice they are found in has incredible pigment and can stain and ruin almost every fabric and most manicures. They are usually found in a huge jar and are best managed with a long slotted spoon. Essential for Manhattans (they are not complete without one) and perched atop many frozen drinks, cherries are the MOST POACHED item in the garnish tray. Many a boozer has almost lost a finger trying to sneak one out!
Last are the olives. No martini can be without one and all bars should have them. Martinis are one of the most famous cocktail thanks to James Bond so all reputable bars should be able to make one. (Technically the cocktail in Casino Royal was a vesper – shaken not stirred of course!)
5 tools
Our last set of five standards involves the basic tools that should be found behind all quality bars. The first and most important tool is the ice scoop. Keeping broken glass out of the ice is the first priority for all bartenders and a quality metal scoop with a tapered end is the best way to accomplish this. Next on the list is the pourer(s) followed by shaker, strainer, and drink mat. Much debate may be had about the importance of a bar spoon or a jigger, a lemon peeler or a muddler and I do agree that these tools are all useful but these first five are essential.
In addition to the ice scoop all bars should have pourers. Free pouring from an open neck handle bottle may get the job done but it is not a professional look. In addition to liquor license responsibilities, pourers allow for proper accounting of alcohol for all of those involved – drinkers, drink makers, and drink establishment owners. I do not consider a jigger essential because all protenders should be able to accurately pour without one.
Shakers and strainers are necessary for serving drinks straight up and are essential tools for which substitutes are unacceptable. When making these drinks, once the spirits are chilled removing the ice effectively is the hallmark of a well made cocktail. Putting your hand over the opening of your mixing glass, using the ice scoop, the bottom of another glass, or any other alternative to pour off the drink is the mark of a lazy bartender and produces a sub par drink – neither of which is tolerable.
The last standard is the drink mat. Rubberized with a spiked surface, the drink mat accommodates spillage and keeps the work station manageable. Pourers improve accuracy and allowing for a ‘carrying rim’ (sometimes called a ‘water mark’ this is the space between the top of the liquid of the drink and the edge of the glass) can cut down on wasted booze but spillage will occur. The drink mat collects the fluid from inaccurate or over pouring in a reservoir below while the spikes keep the glass bottom dry above it. Without the drink mat your bartending station becomes a sticky, wet mess so I consider it essential in order to maintain the workspace which, unlike in other professions, is always visible. A messy bar makes for messy drinks and organization of the workspace not only affects the quality of the drinks produced but also the quantity.
The 2 sets of 2
No bar is complete without them…
Because other drinks require them .
2 pairs of 2
Grenadine and Rose’s Lime
Dry and sweet Vermouth
Four essentials and the many drinks that come from them
Grenadine
Grenadine is a pomegranate flavored nonalcoholic bar syrup. It’s deep red color and tartly sweet flavor add color and intensity to rum drinks and floats on top in drinks like the tequila sunrise ( a simple and drink of tequila and orange juice with a layer of grenadine that walks down the walls of the glass like streaks of the night’s passing to morning.) The most prevalent use of grenadine behind the bar is the Shirley Temple. A combo of ginger ale and grenadine (90% soda and 10%syrup) the Shirley Temple is a popular non alcoholic option served with an orange and cherry garnish that makes it feel like one of the party! The Roy Rogers provides a ‘manly’ named option which substitutes coke for ginger ale.
Rose’s Lime Juice
Simply called Rose’s this tart citrus syrup is the first fruit concentrate to be commercially available and is essential behind the bar. Not only is it the key ingredient in cocktails like the gimlet (a wet gin martini with rose’s substituted for dry vermouth) and the snake bite shot (Canadian whiskey Yukon Jack and Rose’s ) but it is most often combined with the orange flavored liquor triple sec to form the base build of every margarita… just add tequila and sour mix (or skip the sour and have a skinny girl style!) Either way, if you need salt just open your glass rimmer and you’ll find the top shelf holds a sponge with Rose’s. Dipping your glass first in the rose’s and then in the salt well you will be sure to find that this sticky syrup provides the perfect medium for holding the salt in place above the ‘water line’ of the cocktail allowing the boozer to lick and sip at will.
Dry Vermouth
Dry Vermouth originated in France and is a wine fortified with a proprietary blend of herbs and spices. It is an essential ingredient in a martini. Despite the small amount used (indicated by ‘wet’ for more or ‘dry’ for less to none) dry vermouth is necessary to soften a cocktail that is by definition all booze.
Whether the martini is vodka or gin, dry vermouth is poured first to ‘break the fall’ of the spirit and lessen the bite of this straight, strong presentation. Many martini drinkers will forgo the vermouth completely asking for a ‘bone dry’ martini. Remember the irony: the more dry a martini is, the less dry vermouth is used.
Sweet Vermouth
Sweet Vermouth (also a fortified botanical wine) originates in Italy and is red in color. It is an essential ingredient in the manhattan. I teach my bartenders to remember their vermouths by knowing that ‘white drinks get white sauce and gold drinks get red sauce’. Martinis made with vodka or gin are ‘white drinks’ which get ‘white sauce’ (dry vermouth). Manhattans are whiskey based (with rye or bourbon) so these ‘gold’ hued spirits are combined with the ‘red sauce’ of sweet vermouth in their collaboration.
In rare cases you may get a request for a ‘dry’ manhattan which substitutes dry vermouth for sweet or the ‘perfect’ manhattan which calls for equal measure sweet and dry vermouths. Bitters, another botanical based fortification, can also be added by the dash to bring more depth and flavor to your everyday Manhattan. Prefer a scotch whiskey? Ask for a Rob Roy and any protender will know to make the switch!
Wannabe(s) – Here’s your spot –
Wannabe at Home
Proper maintenance of the home bar is imperative to avoid pests. Many things behind the bar are sticky and things also tend to get wet so your home bar can become a spot for ants, fruit flies and other nasty critters. No matter the size or spot of your home bar make sure to wipe and cap your bottles unless every day accessibility is needed. Properly stored your spirits will last a good long time but only if sealed air tight.
For your at home mixers, I recommend small cans of soda rather than storing 2 liters which can get flat. Buying your juice in small individual servings keeps it fresh for use and both juice and soda can be kept on hand at room temp for weeks. Cherries and olives will last months if consistently refrigerated immediately after use.
Stocking and cleaning your home bar efficiently leaves a good time a mere couple of bags of ice and a few fresh fruit garnishes away!
A Tip For My Homies
As we learned buying and serving alcohol has it’s own liability and that continues when liquor is stored. Booze in the home liquor cabinet is many a drinker’s first access and one should NEVER underestimate the desire and dedication that can exist in a new drinker. Everybody’s friend vodka is the most likely target. It doesn’t take much for a new boozer to ascertain that they can replace whatever they drink with water and (in their mind) no one will be the wiser. If you lock it up…we will find the key. Hide it… we’ll find it. When drinking is a daily affair at home it is very hard to convince others that it is an adult only activity and when the adults leave IT IS GAME ON.
If you have enough booze at home to make a party you must be aware that leaving it unattended, no matter how secure you think it is, may result in your having a party … whether you are in attendance or not.
Wannabe Pros
Bartending is different from almost all other professions but in no way more than the aspect of being watched while working. Of course all jobs have a certain level of supervision but when you are behind the bar everyone thinks that they are your boss. Perhaps it’s because of the tipping, but most drinkers will evaluate not only their cocktail but the way their bartender looks while making it. This is not only for bartenders but for most of us in the hospitality industry. Apparently it enhances the service experience if the service provider is a smiling hottie.
A protender will be evaluated for their appearance but the number one criteria should be cleanliness. I really don’t care about your style if you haven’t showered first and if you are going to handle food and drink a certain level of hygiene is mandatory. Not only is it a part of every successful professional but it is even more important when you are in direct contact with food, beverage, and people. Clean hands are necessary for a quality cocktail and close contact with other staff and the occasional guest demand certain oral hygiene.
A beautiful face is nice and muscles have their own appeal, but if you can’t keep yourself clean your talents are better used elsewhere.
Protender Points
Cleanliness as part of a professional appearance is only one aspect of the endeavor. Cleaning behind the bar is an ongoing and constant process which directly affects the quality of the guest experience in the most direct way.
Simply put no one care how good their martini is if it comes in a lipstick stained glass.
In all areas of hospitality a clean environment is necessary to achieve comfort. No one can relax if they are worried about filth – especially filth from someone else. Extensive systems should be in place to ensure that every area of the entire bar is cleaned routinely, forward facing aspects are kept spotless, and that the work is done in a timely manner with each staff member’s commitment and contribution evaluated.
Step number one is to keep your bar surface wiped. Many female drinkers will pull up to your bar and think nothing of putting their expensive handbags directly on a dirty surface. They aren’t concerned that the previous guests just left and you haven’t had a chance to wipe things up (that would be your problem) and they will not hesitate to complain if their bag is damaged (also your problem).
Bartenders are ALWAYS cleaning…
Quality hospitality demands a spotless environment.
Barbacks & Tenderonis
You may have gotten behind the bar because you look good or have muscles (or both) but you can instantly be of use simply by doing ONLY what you are told to do.
Do not think you know what needs to be done; instead wait to be told what and how to assist your bartender. I always start my ‘backs off with the more mundane chores like emptying the trash or getting the ice and then move them up to stocking beers or rinsing shaker cups. No barbacks ever cut my fruit. All bartenders have their own priorities and your job is to blend seamlessly into their system.
For my tenderonis, I appreciate when you understand that you are behind the bar because you are gorgeous (but nothing more) and have a sense of humor about it. Yes, my drinkers want to look at you and flirt but only because their tasty beverage is prepared perfectly and punctually. Please laugh and smile but do not involve yourself in the service of my guests…work hard and keep learning until you have guests of your own.
A Badass Basic
The fifth basic behind the bar is all about cleanliness. A good portion of bartending involves cleaning but the drink making gets all of the attention. My best barbacks were dedicated to helping me clean things and maintain their cleanliness during service. The most important part of that assistance involves the bar towel. All protenders have a certain way about their bar towels and I am no different. A bar towel has to be cotton in order to have the correct finish on the bar. It should be rinsed with water that is as hot as possible and then rung out to almost complete dryness. I often tell my male barbacks that there are going to be things in life that they want as wet as possible but my bar towel is not one of them. When wiping the bar surface it should dry almost instantly so the next guest can approach and put their arms (or pocketbooks) down without coming away wet.
My first rate barbacks can come behind the bar being conscious of their space and keeping out of my way. They use their eyes to see what I need and hustle to replace ice, fruit, and glasses or to take trash and rinse my towels. When I return, they are done and moving away so that I can resume my drink slinging without missing a beat. This type of seamless partnership takes practice and intent and should be rewarded with cold hard cash – as is ALWAYS my way!) I once had a lazy bartender tell me that what she needs is a barback that makes drinks. I responded that that’s all a bartender is … a barback that makes drinks!
The fifth badass basic to remember is
Bartenders are barbacks that make drinks and what makes them badass is showing up, knowing what’s up, and having the hustle to keep it up…until last call of course.
So I have taught you a bit about drink garnish behind the bar but when we head out for drinks you always hear me order order my drink
WITHOUT ANY FRUIT.
WTF?
One thing that shows the level of care that a bartender puts into their drinks is the garnish. A vodka and soda is a sad little thing without a fresh squeeze of lime but I go without.
Here is the inside secret as to why …
Many bartenders skip the most important part of fruit management…YOU MUST WASH IT!!! No one knows more than me what a pain in the ass it is to cut thirty friggin’ limes only to run out half way through the night. You run out back to the walk-in and grab a handful of limes to cut as fast as you can. That lime that you are grabbing from an open cardboard box may have been peed on (or worse) and might have rolled around the floor of a box truck or hidden on the floor of the refrigerator while they mopped with bleach.
Some bartenders think that the alcohol kills any germs so washing isn’t necessary but that policy is disgusting. In addition to not washing their fruit, some bar hacks will leave the sticker on the fruit, proceed to cut through it and then plop in into the drink WITH THE STICKER STILL ON IT!
Of course soap and water isn’t required but a thorough rinsing is mandatory (as well as removing any and all stickers). In my case, I have seen so many lazy bartenders who don’t think it’s necessary and since there is no way to know for sure, I always go without.
So you may be thinking, okay Bitterella, you know something about drinks but…
it’s not like you’ve worked everywhere!
Of course not friends! I have spent my whole life on one coast of the United States but here’s the best news about the whole bartending thing … parts of it are universal and most of it never changes.
Since prohibition ended, the art of making drinks has maintained its’ original character. A screwdriver will always be vodka and orange juice and any bartender working anywhere will have to know that. Beyond that each bar has it’s own style and science so part of being a protender lies in the ability to bring in business by enhancing the establishment and exceeding the expectations of management without rocking the boat. Even though I have bartended my whole life, I do not show up on day one to walk in like I own the place and jump behind the bar to point out what things I would change.
Instead I am punctual and humble, confident that my ability to make exquisite cocktails will impress them in due time and aware that bartending is an incredibly competitive environment where you earn your way up the ladder by showing up and standing in time and time again.
I also come prepared. Perfectly clean and wonderfully coiffed with a positive attitude (or the practiced art of pretending) I am the first to arrive and the last to leave.
I carry my own bar bag which has my own standard five of wine key, beer blade, lighter, pen and paper.
I USE THE PEN AND PAPER.
I take notes while I am training and write down specific instructions (especially for guests with ridiculous expectations) and continue to do so even when these demands bore me.
Of course when I am balls to the wall slinging drinks I work with my jenga memory but if I am taking down dinner for six I am using a pen. Paying attention to the specific details of the request is what’s important not impressing people with your memory.
I haven’t worked everywhere but I can work anywhere and now that I’ve shared some of my badass bartending secrets with you I hope that maybe you can too!
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